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Author Topic: Joke of the Day  (Read 161322 times)

wallie

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #705 on: December 22, 2017, 06:02:27 PM »
A guy starts his new job at the zoo and is given three tasks.


First is to clear the exotic fish pool of weeds. As he does so, a huge fish jumps out and bites him. To show who is boss, he beats it to death with a spade. Realizing his employer won't be best pleased he disposes of the fish by feeding it to the lions, as lions will eat anything.


Moving on to the second job of clearing out the Chimp house, he is attacked by the chimps that pelt him with coconuts. He swipes at two chimps with a spade killing them both. What can he do? Feed them to the lions, he says to himself, because lions eat anything... He hurls the corpses into the lion enclosure.


He moves on to the last job which is to collect honey from the South American Bees. As soon as he starts, he is attacked by the bees. He grabs the spade and smashes the bees to a pulp. By now he knows what to do and shovels them into the lions cage because lions eat anything.
Later that day a new lion arrives at the zoo.. He wanders up to another lion and says "What's the food like here?"


The lion says: "Absolutely brilliant, today we had Fish and Chimps with Mushy Bees

steveo

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #706 on: December 23, 2017, 02:41:17 AM »
A great one Wallie!
Steve

pc bowe

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #707 on: February 03, 2018, 08:54:28 PM »
I learnt two things Today.
  • Never attempt a hi five with a rabbi.
  • I am no longer welcome at Temple.

starsapphire78

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #708 on: February 08, 2018, 02:47:11 PM »
very funny Wallie

pc bowe

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #709 on: February 12, 2018, 05:13:08 PM »
Just spent the day at the shops with my daughter.
I must say, "Rockmans" was very disappointing.

starsapphire78

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #710 on: February 12, 2018, 07:52:23 PM »
LOL

Jamo

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #711 on: February 14, 2018, 07:30:04 AM »
I like it PC


I went to a 'rock shop' in Newcastle with great expectations. Was disappointed they only sold music!  :P
Baaa humbug, not enough fossicking time!

starsapphire78

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #712 on: February 14, 2018, 08:07:15 PM »
LOL Jamo , I felt the same , way

pc bowe

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #713 on: February 19, 2018, 07:35:05 PM »
Q. What do you call a group of fossickers ?


A. A Carton.

Jamo

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #714 on: February 19, 2018, 08:02:43 PM »
Q. What do you call a group of fossickers ?
A. A Carton.
I thought it would be a 'Rabble of Rubble'
Baaa humbug, not enough fossicking time!

MakkyBrown

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #715 on: March 09, 2018, 08:25:40 PM »
I took the shell off my racing snail, thinking it would make him faster.
 
 But if anything, it only made him more sluggish.

 ;D ;D
We are a family of 4 from Southern Tasmania.

pc bowe

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #716 on: March 11, 2018, 09:43:04 AM »
I ate a snail once.
It gave me gastro.

starsapphire78

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #717 on: March 23, 2018, 08:09:00 PM »
 Q. What did the , crusher say. To the sandstone block ?

 A. I have a crush on you

 

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