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Author Topic: Joke of the Day  (Read 303981 times)

tinker

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #720 on: November 14, 2018, 12:30:54 PM »
 ;D ;D ;D ;D beers

Ghost

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #721 on: November 15, 2018, 08:07:29 PM »
Has anybody cut faceting diagram "Procrastination" by Arya Akhavan yet, or are you still putting it off?

pc bowe

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #722 on: November 25, 2018, 08:02:48 AM »
Frankly, I'm having enough trouble with "Defiance".

pc bowe

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #723 on: November 27, 2018, 10:45:54 PM »
My Grandfather tried to warn everyone that the Titanic would sink.
Then we were kicked out of the cinema.

pc bowe

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #724 on: December 15, 2018, 06:34:37 AM »
I learnt two things today.


  • When you dump a 200 gram bag of golden glitter over your head, it take some serious deep crevassing to clean out.
  • OOOOH Pirate party!
[size=78%]    [/size]

pc bowe

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #725 on: January 28, 2019, 08:54:44 AM »
Just spent an hour looking at a bottle of juice and nothing happened.

MALACHI

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #726 on: March 01, 2019, 05:49:29 PM »
  A man goes to a tool store to buy a chainsaw. The server sells him the top-of-the-line model, saying that it will cut through over 100 trees in one day.
The man takes the chainsaw home and begins working on the trees but after working for over three hours he only cuts down two trees.
“How can I cut for hours and hours and only finish two trees?” he asks himself.
The next morning he gets up early in the morning and works until night time, but still only manages to cut down five trees.
The very next day the man brings the chainsaw back to the store and says it doesn’t work properly.
“Hmm, it looks okay,” says the server, and starts the chainsaw.
The man jumps back in shock and cries, “What’s that noise?”  :o :)

steveo

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #727 on: March 02, 2019, 08:32:02 AM »
Good one Malachi!! ;D
Steve

Gemster

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #728 on: March 15, 2019, 02:19:23 PM »
... Victorian's can relate to this one...

A Woman from Melbourne who was a Tree Hugging Green Protester, and an Anti-Logger purchased a piece of bush near the proposed Great Forrest National Park Vic..
There was a large tree on one of the highest points in the tract..
She wanted a good view of the natural splendour of her land, so she started to climb the big Tree.. As she neared the top she encountered a Leadbeater Possum that attacked her..
In her haste to escape, the woman slid down the tree to the ground and got many splinters in her crouch area.. In considerable pain, she hurried to the local ER to see a Doctor..
She told him that she was an Environmentalist, a Green and an Anti-Logger and how she came to get all the splinters.. The Doctor listened to her story with great patience and then told her to go and wait in the Examination Room..
She sat and waited  for 3 hours before the Doctor reappeared.. The angry woman demanded' 'What Took You So Long?'
  He smiled and then told her "Well I had to get Permits from the Environment Protection Authority,  the Forest Service and the Bureau of Land Management before I could remove Old Growth Timber from a 'Recreation Area' so close to a Waste Treatment Facility.. Im sorry but due to the Greens Policies they turned you down"..

  Gemster.... beers
 
« Last Edit: March 15, 2019, 08:18:16 PM by Gemster »
I swing a 12-pound hammer,smash gibbers by the ton
I used to think it convict work,but now i think it's FUN

sapphireminer

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #729 on: March 15, 2019, 08:13:58 PM »
Classic Gemster love it  Dave

MALACHI

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #730 on: March 15, 2019, 09:31:33 PM »
Good one Gemster, thanks for the laugh!  :)

Gemster

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #731 on: March 16, 2019, 07:07:18 PM »
Not mine, lifted from "another Place"... ;D

 Gemster.... beers
I swing a 12-pound hammer,smash gibbers by the ton
I used to think it convict work,but now i think it's FUN

starsapphire78

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #732 on: March 17, 2019, 02:30:10 AM »
LOL  Gemster

pc bowe

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #733 on: March 19, 2019, 07:32:34 PM »
Every stick in Australia is a Boomerang.
When you own a Kelpie.

harryopal

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #734 on: March 21, 2019, 10:43:30 AM »
It's hard to imagine any member of this forum not having read Henry Lawson's short story, "The loaded dog."


If you haven't, find it on google. You'll love it.
harryopal

 

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