collapse

Author Topic: Joke of the Day  (Read 193160 times)

MALACHI

  • ALF'er VIP
  • *
  • Posts: 709
  • Live long and prospect
    • View Profile
    • Email
Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #750 on: December 24, 2019, 09:40:13 AM »
As a little girl climbed onto Santa's lap, Santa asked the usual, "And what would you like for Christmas?"
 The child stared at him open mouthed and horrified for a minute, then gasped: "Didn't you get my E-mail?" ::) ;) beers

MALACHI

  • ALF'er VIP
  • *
  • Posts: 709
  • Live long and prospect
    • View Profile
    • Email
Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #751 on: December 24, 2019, 09:42:55 AM »
When you stop believing in Santa Claus
is when you start getting clothes for Christmas.  ;) beers

Bucket

  • ALF'er VIP
  • *
  • Posts: 907
    • View Profile
Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #752 on: December 27, 2019, 06:58:25 PM »
Hey Malachi, when did you stop believing? If you don't believe you don't receive! If you believe too much you end up being Santa!
Common sense isn't exactly common

MALACHI

  • ALF'er VIP
  • *
  • Posts: 709
  • Live long and prospect
    • View Profile
    • Email
Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #753 on: December 28, 2019, 07:26:32 PM »
Hey Bucket . I would have thought you would have been too busy to read my incriminating post.  I guess that puts me on the naughty list and I'll  be getting a lump of coal next Christmas. Any chance you could make that Jet ??  ::) ;) :)

Bucket

  • ALF'er VIP
  • *
  • Posts: 907
    • View Profile
Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #754 on: January 01, 2020, 02:24:07 PM »
Hi Malachi, I seem to recall you're a member at Essendon, have you guys settled into your new rooms at yet?
Common sense isn't exactly common

MALACHI

  • ALF'er VIP
  • *
  • Posts: 709
  • Live long and prospect
    • View Profile
    • Email
Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #755 on: January 15, 2020, 05:09:34 PM »
Hmmm …Lawyers don't lie.  ::)

A lawyer had a wife and 12 children and needed to move as his rental agreement was coming
to an end for the home where he lived but was having difficulty in finding a new home.
 
When he said he had 12 children, no one would rent a Home to him because they knew that the
children would destroy the home.
 
He could not say that he had no children, he could not lie, after all, lawyers cannot and do not lie.
 
So, he had an idea: he sent his wife for a walk to the cemetery with 11 of their children.
 
He took the remaining one with him to see homes with a real estate agent.
 
He liked one of the homes and the agent asked: "How many children do you have?
He answered: "12 children. The agent asked "Where are the others? The lawyer answered, with a sad look,
"They are  in the  cemetery with their mother.
 
And that's the way he was able to rent a home for his family without lying.
 
MORAL: It is not necessary to lie, one only has to  choose the right words.
 
Lawyers don't Lie ...they are creative ........and don't forget:  Most politicians are lawyers...... ;) :)

 


 



« Last Edit: January 15, 2020, 05:16:47 PM by MALACHI »

pc bowe

  • ALF'er Gold Member
  • *
  • Posts: 151
    • View Profile
    • Email
Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #756 on: February 13, 2020, 09:50:17 AM »
I have often felt, I am a skinny man trapped in a fat mans body.
I think I may be trans-slender.

 

* Sponsor

HTML Online Editor Sample

ALF is hosted by Aussie Sapphire as a free service to the Lapidary community.

Visit our website here
Phone 1800 50 21 40
Or find us on Facebook

Recent Activities

Magnetic toppers for Master laps by Rusted
[February 21, 2020, 08:17:36 AM]


Powelltown by colza
[February 21, 2020, 07:25:12 AM]


Alexandra and Eildon District Lapidary Club Gem Fair and Sales by Ranger Itchy
[February 21, 2020, 06:55:25 AM]


Stabilising / filling with sodium silicate by FlashGP
[February 20, 2020, 08:33:53 AM]


Can you name and roughly appraise these gems? by Bucket
[February 13, 2020, 02:02:03 PM]


Joke of the Day by pc bowe
[February 13, 2020, 09:50:17 AM]


WTB Zircon Rough for Facet by Rockhopper1
[February 10, 2020, 06:21:05 PM]


Gemmasta Encoder Mod Thread by Hatchetwarrior
[February 10, 2020, 12:52:49 PM]


Dopping Stones by Rusted
[February 09, 2020, 12:47:43 PM]


UltraTec VL by Lowjiber
[February 03, 2020, 12:33:35 AM]


Hello from Las Vegas USA by Lowjiber
[February 03, 2020, 12:06:58 AM]


Fred W Van Sant Star Cuts 1-6 Wanted by Lowjiber
[February 02, 2020, 02:38:42 AM]

* Calendar

February 2020
Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat
1
2 3 4 5 6 7 8
9 10 11 12 13 14 15
16 17 18 19 20 21 22
23 [24] 25 26 27 28 29

No calendar events were found.
Sorry! There are no calendar events available at the moment.

* Who's Online

  • Dot Guests: 17
  • Dot Hidden: 0
  • Dot Users: 0

There aren't any users online.

* Find us on Facebook

* Forum Stats

  • stats Total Members: 4216
  • stats Total Posts: 55323
  • stats Total Topics: 5909
  • stats Total Categories: 6
  • stats Total Boards: 27
  • stats Most Online: 773