Joke of the Day

[Aussie Sapphire]

Saw this in a Say & Co Rural newsletter - no doubt they found it somewhere on the net but it raised a bit of a chuckle here:

"They once said that an African American man would be president when pigs fly.  His first 100 days in office and wham!  PIGS FLU."

Our house is full of sniffles at the moment - a week's quarantine would be restful but maybe a little inconvenient.

cheers
Andrew

[mehoose]

Haha Yep good ol swine flu.
Well you knew it was going to happen soon, what with a couple of movies out of Hollywood with an African American president.
Imprinting subliminally into the minds of the masses. So who runs Hollywood?

[shaker]

Never heard of swine flu but have suffered wine flu many times!............however the missus says she suffers from 'swine' flu in the predominantly male household all the time.

[mehoose]

 

[Aussie Sapphire]

Well you knew it was going to happen soon, what with a couple of movies out of Hollywood with a black president.
Imprinting subliminally into the minds of the masses. So who runs Hollywood?

Makes you wonder what Hollywood would suggest that Australia needs.  No matter who gets voted in and out here in Australia, at least it is an easy process where there is no rioting in the streets.  Something to be thankful for when we see what goes in in places like Burma and so on.

cheers
Leah

[mehoose]

You said it.
The Whitlam ending could have been much worse than it was.

Melbourne had a go with an Asian Mayor. Trouble was not many could understand what was being said.

[moonshadow_dancer]

"They once said that a black man would be president when pigs fly.  His first 100 days in office and wham!  PIGS FLU."

PIGS FLU 

I like it, that is soooooooooo funny.

Well not if you get swines flu 

[shaker]

SWINE FLU

Apparently a nasty insidious bug that has caused a pandemic. So in my book it is a big negative (-)
Now I'm not one to let a negative get away scott free and will look for any way to turn it around into a positive (+) So here goes...................

If you are down on your luck and penniless, walk into a food hall and locate a group of people who appear to be the type who watch T.V.

Sit down amongst them and put on a coughing fit, when finished wipe your eyes and look at the one who appears most concerned and say.................

"Never had this cough before I went to South America last month"

You should then be able to have the choice of a number of unfinished dishes.

[mehoose]

You BAD

[moonshadow_dancer]

Oh my Goodness Shaker,

I have to say I really truely thing umm......THAT WOULD WORK 

[shaker]

Ssssssssh!  it does.

[Gearloose]

If you are down on your luck and penniless, walk into a food hall and locate a group of people who appear to be the type who watch T.V.

People have already done that here without saying a word.
 They just wear a "CANCUN" T Shirt.

[moonshadow_dancer]

Swine Flu Update

I called the Swine Flu hotline … all I got was crackling

I heard that the first symptom is that you come out in rashers.

Another is that you get the trotts.

But, I woke up with pig tails this morning ... Should I be worried?

The doctor asked me how long I'd had the symptoms of Swine Flu. I siad it must have been about a Weeeeeeeeeeeeeek!

Apparently my mate's got Swine Flu, I think he's just telling porkies, though.

The only known cure for Swine Flu in humans has been found to be the liberal application of oinkment.

I hear there's now a sine flu as well. Someone on the news was going off on a tangent about it.

This little piggy went to market,
This little piggy stayed at home,
This little piggy had roast beef,
This little piggy had none.
And this little piggy had influenza A virus subtype hemagglutinin protein 1 neuraminidase protein 1

Swine flu, however, is not a problem for the pigs because they're all going to be cured anyway.

News Flash .... this just in. The world's religious leaders have issued a joint declaration that the Swine Flu pandemic is the start of
the aporkalypse.

Swine flu has now mixed with bird flu. Scientists say they will find a cure when pigs fly.

I just heard on the news that, "Swine Flu could potentially be a threat to every single person in the world". Well it’s a good thing I’m married then, isn’t it?

This is not a time for panic. It is no pig deal. It is a mild hamademic, don't believe the spam you're getting.

Feeling bored on the bus, train or Underground? Take out your mobile phone and
pretend to have a conversation with an imaginary caller all about
your recent holiday in Mexico. Hang up. Then sneeze...

[mehoose]

Hehehehe, good one Dooby.
Ham it up why don't ya.

[moonshadow_dancer]

I liked it, thought it was a pearler, I got it in email and thought I would share