Joke of the Day

[wallie]

A guy starts his new job at the zoo and is given three tasks.


First is to clear the exotic fish pool of weeds. As he does so, a huge fish jumps out and bites him. To show who is boss, he beats it to death with a spade. Realizing his employer won't be best pleased he disposes of the fish by feeding it to the lions, as lions will eat anything.


Moving on to the second job of clearing out the Chimp house, he is attacked by the chimps that pelt him with coconuts. He swipes at two chimps with a spade killing them both. What can he do? Feed them to the lions, he says to himself, because lions eat anything... He hurls the corpses into the lion enclosure.


He moves on to the last job which is to collect honey from the South American Bees. As soon as he starts, he is attacked by the bees. He grabs the spade and smashes the bees to a pulp. By now he knows what to do and shovels them into the lions cage because lions eat anything.
Later that day a new lion arrives at the zoo.. He wanders up to another lion and says "What's the food like here?"


The lion says: "Absolutely brilliant, today we had Fish and Chimps with Mushy Bees

[steveo]

A great one Wallie!

[pc bowe]

I learnt two things Today.

• Never attempt a hi five with a rabbi.
• I am no longer welcome at Temple.

[starsapphire78]

very funny Wallie

[pc bowe]

Just spent the day at the shops with my daughter.
I must say, "Rockmans" was very disappointing.

[starsapphire78]

LOL

[Jamo]

I like it PC


I went to a 'rock shop' in Newcastle with great expectations. Was disappointed they only sold music! 

[starsapphire78]

LOL Jamo , I felt the same , way

[pc bowe]

Q. What do you call a group of fossickers ?


A. A Carton.

[Jamo]

Q. What do you call a group of fossickers ?
A. A Carton.

I thought it would be a 'Rabble of Rubble'

[MakkyBrown]

I took the shell off my racing snail, thinking it would make him faster.
 
 But if anything, it only made him more sluggish.

 

[pc bowe]

I ate a snail once.
It gave me gastro.

[starsapphire78]

 Q. What did the , crusher say. To the sandstone block ?

 A. I have a crush on you

[MALACHI]

A man who was travelling through the countryside was exhausted and starving. He came across a roadside inn with a sign out the front that read: “George and the Dragon.” He knocked on the door. The Innkeeper’s wife stuck her head out a window.

“Could I stay the night at your inn?” he asked.

The woman glared at the man and shouted back, “No!”

“Do you have any food to spare?”

“No!” she shouted.

“Could I at least have a glass of water?”

“No!” she shouted again.

The man said, “Could I please…?”

“What now?” the woman screeched, not allowing him to finish.

“Do you suppose,” he asked, “that I might have a word with George?” 

[Gemster]

  Nice.....

 Gemster....