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Author Topic: Joke of the Day  (Read 241524 times)

pc bowe

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #780 on: August 20, 2021, 12:12:58 PM »
Recently when passing through a small country town, at the head of the main street there was a sign that read " Clean Toilets " .
That added 2 hours to my travel time.

pc bowe

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #781 on: August 26, 2021, 08:23:38 AM »
Just cut open an avocado for breakfast.
Yet another wooden ball in the middle.
Seriously.....
Is it to much to ask for a different toy.

pc bowe

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #782 on: September 12, 2021, 08:25:52 PM »
I learnt two things today.
  • I prefer to sleep naked.
  • 3 Flight attendants,1 co-pilot and 2 members of the AFP, prefer I don't. 

starsapphire78

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #783 on: September 14, 2021, 09:03:58 PM »
lol two very funny jokes

pc bowe

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #784 on: September 26, 2021, 09:25:10 PM »
Driving down the highway.
Long awkward silence.
Me "So I hear a Hollywood actress was stabbed. Reese whatsername."
The Wife. "Witherspoon."
Me." Yeh Naa pretty sure it was a Knife."
Long awkward silence.
Driving down the Highway.


RoughCreations

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #785 on: September 27, 2021, 11:43:46 AM »
Not exactly a Joke of The Day, but, how often does one hear arguments structured like those below?

The "Four Dog Defence". Here's how a lawyer explained it to the St. Petersburg Times in 1997:

First of all, I don't have a dog.
And if I had a dog, it doesn't bite.
And if I had a dog and it did bite, then it didn't bite you.
And if I had a dog and it did bite, and it bit you, then you provoked the dog.

If one transposes that to climate change it would go something like this;

First of all, there is no climate change.
And if there is climate change, it’s not human-induced.
And if there is climate change and it is human-induced, then it didn’t cause the bushfires.
And if there is climate change, and it is human-induced, and it did cause the bushfires, then it’s too late to address the inducement.
Rough Creations - Beauty from rough beginnings

pc bowe

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #786 on: October 02, 2021, 07:19:29 AM »
I learnt two things today.
  • Turns out I'm an essential worker.
  • 100% of traffic is caused by non-essential workers.

pc bowe

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #787 on: October 23, 2021, 08:50:12 AM »
One of my ancestors was transported to Australia, 7 years for Vagrancy.
Apparently he told the local constabulary to go **** himself.
Doesn't seem Vague to me.

Ghost

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #788 on: October 23, 2021, 08:29:58 PM »
You know how there is a:

Big Banana - Coffs Harbour NSW
Big Pineapple - Woombye QLD
Big Lobster - Kingston SE SA
Big Merino - Goulburn NSW
Big Etc. - Everywhere.

I reckon somebody should have a "Big Mountain Bike",
... for use on Big Mountains.

pc bowe

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #789 on: November 18, 2021, 07:57:59 AM »
I learnt two things today.


When inspecting a crystal on a pendant.
  • Next time. Get the stranger lady to remove it from around her neck.
  • Next time. Don't use the term "Uneven Cleavage."

MALACHI

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #790 on: November 18, 2021, 04:26:19 PM »
You could also perhaps be cautious about remarking about the meet points too! ::) ;) hotthirsty 

colza

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #791 on: November 26, 2021, 07:27:31 AM »
A grasshopper sits down at a bar. The bartender says, " Hey, you know we've got a drink named after you."

The grasshopper shakes his head and says, "Who calls a drink Steve?"

Cheers,
colza :)
I dig it.

pc bowe

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #792 on: November 27, 2021, 07:21:11 AM »
Doodling.
Same as.
Noodling.
Just with no pants on.
« Last Edit: November 27, 2021, 07:26:03 AM by pc bowe »

colza

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #793 on: November 27, 2021, 10:28:10 AM »
What did the green grape say to the purple grape?


Breathe, man, breathe!


Cheers,
colza  :)
I dig it.

Ghost

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #794 on: December 04, 2021, 03:12:22 PM »
Just logged on and saw in your calendar that I'm 77 today.
Still waiting for that mid-life crisis of fast cars, fast boats and fast women!
Maybe next year?

 

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