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Author Topic: Joke of the Day  (Read 254964 times)

pc bowe

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #795 on: December 06, 2021, 03:26:47 PM »
Driving down the highway.
Long awkward silence.
Me "Have you heard of Murphy's law"?
The wife "If something can go wrong it will go wrong".
Me " Have you heard of Coles law".
The wife "No what's Coles law"?
Me "Thinly sliced cabbage".
Long awkward silence.
Driving down the highway.

pc bowe

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #796 on: December 09, 2021, 01:23:17 PM »
I stand behind Alec Baldwin.

Pete49

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #797 on: December 10, 2021, 01:37:12 PM »
as would I

pc bowe

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #798 on: December 11, 2021, 06:46:52 AM »
Aussie Wave.
Same as
Mexican Wave.
Just performed while catching a 6 at the Gabba.

Pete49

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #799 on: December 11, 2021, 01:36:24 PM »
getting worse  ;D

Ghost

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #800 on: December 12, 2021, 10:54:25 AM »
Lady goes into jewellery shop, drops a plastic bag on the counter and says,
"Here's my five carrots, can I have a five carrot diamond please."

pc bowe

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #801 on: December 23, 2021, 09:17:39 AM »
I truly dislike public speaking.
Is that Hate Speech?

pc bowe

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #802 on: January 05, 2022, 07:26:22 AM »
Rumor has it Joe Root has signed on with Tinder.

wallie

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #803 on: January 08, 2022, 12:04:06 AM »
The NSW Police have found a large number of dead crows on the Sturt Highway just outside Wagga Wagga early this morning, and there was concern that they may have died from Avian Flu.
A Pathologist examined the remains of all the crows, and, to everyone's relief, confirmed the problem was NOT Avian Flu.
The cause of death appeared to be from vehicular impacts. However, during analysis it was noted that varying colours of paints appeared on the bird's beaks and claws.
By analysing these paint residues it was found that 98% of the crows had been killed by impact with motorbikes, while only 2% were killed by cars.
The investigators then hired an Ornithological Behaviourist to determine if there was a cause for the disproportionate percentages of motorbike kills versus car kills.
The Ornithological Behaviourist quickly concluded that when crows eat road kill, they always have a look-out crow to warn of danger.
They discovered that while all the lookout crows could shout "Cah", not a single one could shout "bike"

MALACHI

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #804 on: January 09, 2022, 11:00:06 AM »
Good one Wallie. I like it!  ;D


starsapphire78

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #805 on: January 10, 2022, 12:56:53 AM »
Brilliant Wallie

tinker

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #806 on: January 31, 2022, 06:17:35 PM »
Local Police report that there was a break in at the Police Station last night, all that was stolen was the toilet seat, the Sergeant told reporters that the Police have nothing to go on.

FlashGP

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #807 on: February 02, 2022, 11:04:31 PM »
Here’s one for all you old fossils.


What do you call a caveman fart?
.
.
.
.
.
A blast from the past!
Yours Sincerely
Flash (Gordon)

pc bowe

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #808 on: February 03, 2022, 09:19:04 AM »
Natural Gas.

Alexandorito

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #809 on: February 05, 2022, 07:58:33 AM »
I have a gem thats worth either 50 million dollars 100 thousand or just what ever a 1cm tin ore matrix gemstone is worth but i have no idea what to do seeming a pawnshop geolist told me it showing diamond but couldnt xray becuase of tin deceted. Roughly 1cm sqaure of black/purple gem with pyramid that has extra flat chanels.
I wont show photos till at least i know im talking to sombody trustworthy and not illigitamate.

Thats a joke becuase he then said as i walked out you might have space poo

Not a joke found in desclosed location victoria if anyone can email me my email is Alex.and.his.mail@gmail.com
Can email photos on request or arrange a meet up if anybody in newcastle area is interested in identifying in person or with there equipment. Hope to hear from anyone sorry i posted here its the only chat with trafic and i have no clue where to ask anything haha
Thanks Alex

 

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